Monday, May 11, 2009

USPS Adventure: Must Read Books Arrive


I'm partially convinced that the hinterlands of Hades are simply a series of waiting lines. From stoplights to bathroom queues to waiting on hold, cellphone in hand, serpentine files of the those who fell short & remained short wind around molten pools, down glowing steps, and over sizzling crags. The finer points of Time are all lost on those who spend an eternity waiting.

Today, I caught yet another glimpse.

So, I was at the Post Office, eagerly awaiting my box from Amazon, which, of course, held my brand new copies of all three New Books You Must Buy. I cannot even describe to you the time it took. (And there were only three people in the line in front of me!)

Hoping to distract myself, I started skimming through the Useless Fact collection I keep tucked away in the half of the brain I rarely use. It was thus that I remembered that the USPS had solved the long waits in lines by having all clocks removed last March. I glanced around, surreptitiously checking. And wouldn't you know: There on the wall behind me was a round circle of lesser fading. The clock was missing!

Oddly enough, it did not feel at all like less time had passed.

My box, on the other hand, held snippets of heaven. And now I'm sitting here, three books in hand, and I'm salivating and trembling and joyous and I don't even know which one to start with. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe...

The Three to Choose From:



3. Aprilynne Pike, author of Wings.


10 comments:

Ken Kiser said...

Hi Alex, I've been so caught up in my own writing that I've neglected visiting my fellow writers. It's good to see you are still here and doing well.

Ken Kiser http://thekreggorian.com/blog

laughingwolf said...

put off cindy's for a while... they say after an hour of chinese [food] you're hungry for more :O lol

stu said...

The post office in the UK seems to be solving similar problems over here by having all post offices removed.

cindy said...

i hate waiting. thanks for the plug, alex!! did i ever offer to send you a signed bookplate and bookmark? please email me if not! pon.cindy@gmail.com

LW, ha! i never did understand that hungry after chinese food thing. i never am! peeps not eating the right chinese food!

KatW said...

Ooooh I love that - getting a box of books & being so excited that I can hardly choose which book to read first!

Incidently - I've noticed blank spaces where clocks used to hang a few times in NHS clinic waiting rooms and hospital wards. It wouldn't surprise me to discover that the NHS had borrowed the idea from USPS.

Kat :-)

Peter said...

Are you serious? They took the clocks out to make it feel less like waiting?

That's just disturbing...

How could it take so long with only three people in line? I think this is why I left civil service.. :P

Alex Moore said...

@ken: hey you :) hope all's well your way. I've been swamped myself, so no worries. But it's great seeing you here...

@laughingworlf: believe me, i've been wondering if I shouldn't wait til all the sequels come out so I don't have to wait so long between reads... On the other hand, I could just read them all again!

@stu: oh. my. goodness. Yes, that's going to increase customer satisfaction. Maybe we should just go w/ UPS & FedEx & those companies who actually make a profit and completely forego this top-heavy and antiquated gov't-run business approach. They're raising stamp prices again!

Alex Moore said...

@cindy: you are so welcome, of course. thanks for being one of my "chosen" this year; you've been so patient with all my questions and emails and requests... You are super!

@KatW: hmmm...wouldn't surprise me either. It feels a little sinister, actually, in a bizarre sort of way. Is the gene pool really that shallow? Are we all really duped by such artiface?

@Peter: you're right: disturbing, indeed! (see above comment) It's also a bit hilarious because any other business that is closed on Saturdays & Sundays would have an extra crew on to cover the Monday rush. Not so with our illustrious USPS... Only two workers to meet the needs of a line that trailed out the door. Yikes.

Lynnette Labelle said...

I love that feeling. I'm addicted to books, I swear.

Lynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com

Alex Moore said...

@Lynnette: mom would ask me what i'd want for Christmas when I was a little kid & I'd always say books. Even though I knew what was in the package, it was always so exciting because I never knew precisely which titles I'd get!