Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Faux Pas: My greatest social faux pas of the year took place shortly before Thanksgiving. I didn't write anything about it, of course, because, frankly, it was humiliating. In the intervening weeks, however, I've thought, Isn't it my duty to tell? It can be like one of those little moral tales -- where everyone learns what not to do... So, here goes: my embarrassing moment.

Background: The annual NCTE event always has a huge space filled with various publishers, vendors, and exhibitors. It's every teacher's dream to wander this expanse, snatch up the books they're giving away for free, and buy the ones they're selling for two or three dollars. Authors sit behind small tables, where you can talk to them or have them sign your book (though, depending upon the popularity of the author in question, you may find yourself standing in line for an hour or more). Publishing company reps try to sell their wares or answer any questions.

Publishing Company Catches my Eye: I'm wandering, my bag stuffed to overflowing, when I catch the large Tor banner. My heart skips a beat. I smile. I let my feet lead me to the booth area where books line the back and two reps sit behind a small table chatting. They look up and smile.

My Normally Reticent Self Makes Silly: "So," I say, "you two would know all about helping me get published by Tor, yes?" Disclaimer: I know I need an agent in order to get published. I know that Tor accepts unagented work, but I also know that I need an agent. I have yet to parse out why exactly I said these silly things.

Awkward Pause turns Pregnant with Possibility: The man on the left, we'll call him Jeff, smiles -- a smile reminiscent of a cat contemplating a tasty bird -- and nods to the woman on my right. "She's an editor," he says, "ask her."

My Jaw Drops: I stumble around. Rather, my mouth keeps talking but my brain is stalled. She takes pity on me and asks what my book's about. I panic, but give what is most possibly the worst pitch on planet earth. She gives me her card. "Send it to me," she says. "I'll take a look."

The Story Gets Worse: I look down at the card. Susan Chang, it glistens. I almost faint. I grip the counter in front of me to keep my balance. We're only talking about THE Susan Chang.

The Rescue: Random teacher walks up to get some questions answered and Ms. Chang gets up to help her. 'Jeff' and I talk briefly; he gives me the name of a website that is helpful for unpublished writers. He reveals that he, too, is an editor, though for a publishing company that does not accept unagented manuscripts. Before he walks away, he says, "Follow up on her." I brave a half-smile and whisper back, "She's going to kill you!" And he shrugs, smiling back. "She didn't have to give you her card. Follow up."

The Resolution: There is none. I walked away, trembling, kicking myself for being so delightfully stupid. In fact, that's a state I still find myself in. I am also still in awe of the fact that I met Ms. Chang. I haven't sent my manuscript in.

Gather Around the Inland Empire Table

Inland Empire Girl of Gathering Around the Table has posted her 800th blog. That's incredibly awesome, especially since I just spent the weekend basking in her delightful awesomeness and, despite the fact that we were working our tail ends off, she still managed to post daily!!! I am in awe.

Go visit her blog. Offer her your well wishes. Drool over her scintillating sentences, references to poetry, recipes of yummilicious holiday cheer, and breath-taking photographs of good country living. You can't go wrong.

The Armchair Survivalist

Although I have visions of poetry and prose dancing the marimba in my head, I just couldn't resist posting about The Armchair Survivalist. There've been a lot of articles & snippets about the guy in the last month or so -- and after I caught yet another article about him, I had to post.

It's also interesting that NICHOLAS K. GERANIOS added the following little tidbit in the afore-mentioned article. It's this quote, actually, that put a crease on my brow. "Barton Biggs, former chief global strategist for Morgan Stanley, recently wrote a book in which he warned that people should anticipate the breakdown of civilized society. He suggested creating a "safe haven" and stocking it with canned food, liquids, medicine, seed, fertilizer and other tools for survival." Biggs has bigg credentials in the economic world, so this is more than a simply interesting prognostication on his part.

(Of course, Geranios doesn't add that Bigg's doom & gloom prophecy has more to do with the breakdown of civilization after catastrophic global warming, which differs slightly from Kurt Wilson's, Armchair Survivalist, core beliefs.)

Anyway, fun & light reading for any of you focused on writing dis-Utopian or dark futuristic pieces... Hope your Thanksgiving was full of blessings and warmth & that Nanowrimo treated you 'write' this year!

Saint Anthony

Along the riverwalk rests a statue of St. Antonio, a gift from Portugal -- at least according to our riverboat guide.

I couldn't resist.

So, in honor of Anthony Pacheco, Hack Writer, I give you Saint Anthony:

Writing with Sentence Variety

Note: This post goes over some of the points covered in our presentation at the National Conference of Teachers of English this past Saturday.

Sentence fluency has traditionally been a difficult quality to define and to teach. If you know some basics, however, it's actually rather easy to apply to your own writing -- and honestly, good writers (and readers) do much of this automatically.

Sentence Fluency:

1. Use a variety of sentence lengths: short ones for building tension, longer ones for explanations. Combining the two types creates a rhythm and flow to your writing, invaluable for keeping the attention of your readers.

2. Use a variety of sentence types: there are several different ways to achieve this, but my current favorite resource is Harry R. Noden's book Image Grammar.

Harry Noden's Five Basic Brush Strokes:
1. The participle/participial phrase: Lounging lazily, the cat watched the mouse.
2. The absolute: Tail switching, the cat watched the mouse.
3. The appositive: The cat, an insipid lounger, watched the mouse.
4. Adjectives shifted out of order: The cat, indolent and sleek, watched the mouse.
5. Action verbs: Surveying his domain, the cat examined each food offering.

These are but five of many variations, but simply being aware of alternative formats to that most basic sentence structure -- Subject + Verb -- can make all the difference in your writing.

Where in the World is Alex Moore?

Temperate climes, eons of history.

Botonical garden, Japanese tea garden, art and history museums, a zoo,

a peaceful riverwalk.

The Magestic Theater, in all of its refurbished glory,

where BB King played Thursday night.

Brand new hotel and conference center, spacious and perfectly techie...

Where the National Writing Project

and the National Conference of Teachers of English

held their conferences this year.

Alex Explores Sophie's World

After a lamentable decade or so on my shelf (apologies to Mohamad since he gifted it to me so long ago), I finally pulled out Sophie's World and began reading. I can't say, really, what prompted me. I know there were sparks of curiosity and, no doubt, guilt. After all, it's a bestseller -- and everyone and his dog in forty-one countries has read it. But there are plenty of books awaiting my studious perusal that spark both curiosity and residual levels of guilt for having not yet been read that sit lonely upon my many shelves.

So it wasn't only curiosity. And it wasn't only guilt. In retrospect, I wonder if it wasn't a final admission to feeling very much at loss with the world at large and America in particular. In reading a history of philosophy, perhaps I hoped to find not necessarily answers, but rather questions that would help me settle into my own.

Sophie's World is not a book for answers. Or at least easy answers. Of course, Reagan said that there were no easy answers, just simple ones. And we must have the courage to do what we know to be morally right. Those are reassuring words, indeed. Truth be known, however, there were Greek philosophers who would have agreed whole-heartedly with him.

As I finished the last words on the last page tonight, I found myself already plotting my second reading of the book, replete with a much larger copy and a journal for keeping notes. I've contemplated taking the book apart at the binding, punching it for a 3-ring binder, much like Sophie & Hilde had, and going on from there. Certainly highlighters and post-it notes are a must.

On the other hand, I've been meaning to read We the Living for some time now. And, in a way, as it is but a continuation of the history of philosophy via a fictional journey, I'll have remained true to the ideal of searching for answers.